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Having a roommate. For as long as I can remember, I have always been a social person, preferring to live with people I know and trust around me. It was this habit that probably drove me to look for a good roommate after joining college. I thought it would be a good thing given that I am foreign student, to have someone more accustomed to the local scenery and cultural set up. This roommate would be my friend and guide as I embarked on the long journey of studies in a foreign country.
Finding a good roommate can be a daunting task as I learned early in the quest to find one. Many people think it is an easy task especially if the set up provides similar circumstances-as was my case. It dawned on me that many things would have to be put into consideration before I came up with my choice. Being the choosy student who likes an outgoing, yet careful life, I realized early on that many of the potential roommates lacked the last bit. They were simply out to have fun over the course of their college lives. I could not afford to lead such a carefree life seeing how my parents had struggled and succeeded in putting in one of the best institutions.
After having done away with the ones out to have fun, I was left with those who came closest to filling my criteria. I had formulated a small list of pointers that would assist me choose the best of the ones left. Top on the list was personal hygiene. I simply can’t stand filthy people so the potential roommate had to be very clean both personally and in his natural habitat. Of prime importance was the requirement that our cleanliness standards match, since some people tend to have theirs too high for comfort. Secondly, I needed to understand the potential roommate’s conflict resolution strategies. Fighting and shouting at people would automatically disqualify one, as would silence and ignorance. Honesty and trust would also score the potential roommate high marks in my quest to find the best one. I was also keen to know if the potential roommate led a dramatic life as this would impact quite heavily on my life. Having been brought up to embrace humility, I simply can’t entertain dramatic characters. Finally, sleeping habits would have to be established. This would have a major impact on my ability to rest after a long day in class, so heavy snoring and somnambulism would have to be checked.
I finally narrowed the search to two and proceeded to vet them. I decided that the best method to do this would be to live with them each for a predetermined length of time. The first came across as very cooperative in attending to house chores, very understanding in matters pertaining my religious beliefs and quite trustworthy. I knew I could count on him in case of anything. He had good leadership potential as was demonstrated in his suggesting that we formulate a rooster.
In matters of privacy, he performed brilliantly. In a hurry reach a class I was late for, I left my Facebook account open one day. Minutes after leaving the room, I received a call from him informing me of my mistake and his action of logging out. I believe a less honest person would have fallen for the temptation to snoop into my social media habits. He again proved to be trustworthy when he reminded me of some cash I had left on the sofa as went to sleep. I think it had dropped out of my denim pants as I lay on the seat resting. Those and other examples proved to me beyond doubt that he would be a good roommate from a trust and honesty standpoint.
In matters of academics my honest roommate did not really excel. He had slight problems understanding some of the new concepts we were introduced to. As is expected of a good roommate, he asked for assistance which I extended as best as I could. The ability to share problems as well as joys with your roommate seemed to be something he did not have problems with-which suited me just fine. I like sharing some of my life with people around me, so his willingness to open up and share his issues came in handy. We would spend the few moments it takes for sleep to finally overpower one sharing our day with each other. The problems would be identified and probable caused discussed. Afterwards, the best solutions would be identified. Joyful as well as happy moments were also shared. In short, he proved to be one of the best roommates I have ever had.
The second one exhibited all the right signs of being a good roommate right up to the day we moved in. After that, he seemingly changed to his true colors and problems started. I could persevere the loud snoring and impromptu parties at our house, but what angered me the most was his trust issues as well as social misbehavior. He would go through my phone messages and try hacking into my email account, all the while thinking I was oblivious of his misdeeds. The little personal information I had foolishly shared with him was promptly disclosed to his friends who never wasted time in mocking me during their next visits. I discovered later on, that he had tried to access my bank account details, which was totally unacceptable.
Life in school is subject to many influences that one is supposed to look at wisely. The introduction to vices such as smoking and drugs is mostly done at this stage, as my second roommate can unfortunately attest to. His party-loving friends introduced him to cigarettes and alcohol very early in his school life. I later came to find out that he had been also using harder drugs such as marijuana but decided to keep it a secret. His weakness of character exposed him to peer-influence while strengthening my resolve to never use these substances. I felt sad that my roommate’s suffering would serve as an example for my betterment.
I had to let him go after the bank account incident and the shocking realization that I couldn’t trust him anymore. I had brazenly undergone the humiliation resulting from his friends, his attempts to snoop into my personal life, as well as his bad sleeping habits and disturbances from noisy friends. I even chose to ignore the cigarette butts littering our house after each visit from his friends and their foul language, but his dishonesty and the fact that I couldn’t trust him anymore were the final straw for me.
I realized that having a roommate was a good idea, and that it would be even better if the same person was someone you know well, can trust and understands you well enough. The importance of vetting potential roommates was realized and a few lessons learnt on how to handle bad ones. I also saw a good example of the effects of peer influence and poor character management.
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